Who wouldn't want to be me?

I've moved into my dorm room. This morning while going on my run, I met my RA, who is from the same state I am, and I found out we don't have a curfew in the dorms (that is a lot more exciting than it sounds, trust me). My roommate is awesome. I don't have to hike up a mountain on Saturday. The new season of Doctor Who has started. I get to see my dad, who I haven't seen in three months. I got to go to a new city and ate at a fabulous Mexican restaurant. I get to go to the fair on Monday (haven't gone in years because of tennis). AND the absolute icing on the cake is my big brother is getting married tomorrow.

I don't want to jinx anything, but life's going good for me right now. And I have time to focus on studying theatre techniques.

I'm excited to be in college. The world has so many possibilities all of a sudden. If you can dream it, you can do it. We're all human and we all naturally have things we want. Please don't give up on your dreams, no matter how impossible they seem. Be the eternal optimist and have faith that it will work out as you continue to work on what you want.

Toyota Yaris L 5-dr 2014

College is figuratively staring me in the face at this point, even though it's more in-your-face to ALL OF MY FRIENDS BECAUSE THEY ALL START A WEEK BEFORE I DO. Ahem. And I want to talk about cars. A Top Gear thing is premiering Monday (very excited for that) and so I've been trying to watch some of that on top of trying to watch Doctor Who. Let's just say that that's been very... complicated. Anywho, I love hatchbacks. Big, small, in between (I'm looking at you, crossovers). I just think they are the most adorable things ever. I know that part of that is my experience with my aunt's SUV. I have some good memories of that car, along with some...not so good ones. I actually would much like to get either a Hyundai Tucson or Santa Fe. Thinking maybe the Santa Fe because it's bigger. Or the Santa Fe SE, which is bigger than the Tucson and smaller than the Santa Fe.
But as you can see, that car (and I love that color on cars) shown above is not a Santa Fe. It's not even a Hyundai. That, friends, is a Toyota Yaris. And the reason why I want to talk about this rather plain, ordinary car is because I'm going to college. See, I'm going to be inheriting my grandpa's red Geo Metro. I love that little bugger. I really do. It reminds me of an old race horse. It does what you want it to, it just takes longer to do it and it can't go as fast as it used to. But it does try to please. The only problem with it is it doesn't like to go above 65 mph. Well, I say doesn't like to. I amend that statement to can't really go above 65 mph and can't maintain that speed for longer than about an hour. So as much as I love the Metro, I'm going to have to eventually obtain something that can go freeway speeds so that it doesn't take me two days to go down to LA when my life takes me there.
Now, I'm going to bring up Top Gear briefly. The blokes on the BBC version (the good one) maintain that the Yaris is the car you want for a small, compact car. Good car, great mpg's, and fairly cheap. Perfect for a college student, yes? Have some stats. The 2014 Yaris has 37 highway mpg. It's got a GRAND total of..! 106 horsepower. Compared to some of the stuff I've posted up here, that seems almost laughable. To add to the laughing comparison, it's got a buzzy 1.5, straight 4 engine. That one up there is the 5-door L edition. Which means it's an automatic (and also apparently dated). The 3-door L has manual transmission, which is apparently better than the automatic. I'm totally cool with that anyway because I like stick shifts better than automatics. And all the reviews say that the manual is far better than the automatic. Which means that to get the good one, you're stuck with the 3-door or the most expensive 5-door. The SE gives better handling and stuff so you'd probably want to go with that one anyway. It's still under $20,000.
So, yeah. That's the car I'm looking at for my upgrade when I start travelling. You can get cheap used ones of previous years. You just have to know how to look.

Reason and Feeling

Anger burns, bright and dark, red as the fires of passion. It joins with love and lust in the primal feelings. We spend so much time distancing ourselves from emotion and ourselves yet despite our enlightenment, we still have them. They are as much a part of us as the softer tenderer side of the spectrum and the darker, destructive side. We do not find ourselves by hiding. We must live to find ourselves. Mistakes must be made and all those raw emotions that we have been programmed by society to fear must be felt. We may be capable of thought and reason, but so too are we capable of intuition and things which cannot be explained.
Feel the emotions you fear. Know the mind you have.

"I choose not to think of my life as surviving, but coping."/ "Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you."

Another death in the family in less than six months. This one, unlike the other, was unexpected and the police is treating it as a suspicious death. So we won't know anything for a while. I'm...I'm not good at expressing grief. So, there you have it. That'll be pretty much that until the funeral, whenever that happens.

Ummm, yeah. Oh, so you know how Series 8 of Doctor Who is happening in less than two weeks. Or you possibly don't That's a thing that's happening that I'm very excited for and because of it, I've been watching a lot of interviews and stuff with the actors. There's just something about interacting with people, complete strangers, who enjoy your work. I don't feel the same fascination with athletes or politicians. Politicians because I don't believe what comes out of their mouths and athletes because... I don't know. I was going to pursue a career in tennis, you know. But I decided to put my focus on school instead and I'm glad I did because I'm getting to go to the school of my dreams. Is it wrong of me to want to be in a position where I'll have people know my name, even if I don't know them? If I ever become well-known, and I do hope I do, I want to be one of the actors that is constantly interacting with fans and people. I don't want to be one of those that you only ever see on screen and is a hermit otherwise. I don't want to be one of those people that you see just going to work and then hiding at home anyway. As introverted as part of me is, I want to interact with people, random people. I'll never say that I'm not proud with a bit of a vain little peacock, just enough to enjoy the spotlight sometimes, but not enough to be a drama queen. Tennis matches, I thrive under the attention, even when it's negative. I have no problems with public speaking. When I was on stage with Barry Manilow performing in his show with part of my choir, the added challenge of having that large of an audience just made me enjoy myself more.
But I don't like receiving recognition for what I do. Well, that's not entirely true. I'm a big fan of working on it, performing (whether it be in sports, music, or whatever) and then finding a new project. If I get recognition, I want it done quietly with minimal fuss. No big fanfare unless you want me embarrassed and clammed up emotionally. I get nervous and defensive when I get scolded, reprimanded or critiqued in front of others. I'll do my absolute best to try to fix whatever was wrong (unless you go about it the wrong way, which is pretty difficult), but privately and then I'll show the new/refined skill once I've got it down well enough to have a touch of adrenaline to keep me on my toes. I don't like making mistakes, which is why I have a tendency to put exorbitant amounts of time into something until I've got it at a level where I don't make mistakes often. But that practicing will be alone or with very few people.
So I get to straddle the world between introvert and extrovert, living in the grey area when I would much prefer to be on one side or the other even though I exist easily in both.
Actually, I think I'm going to be done now. I don't want this post to just become a verbal vomit of...I'm not even sure. I think I just needed to get this off my chest. And I just ranted extensively about X-Men: Days of Future Past at one of my friends. I don't think most people realize how strongly I feel about movies and TV shows. They're my only true obsession, books come a close second because I like seeing to imagine. I can do it almost as easily with literature but...
Wow, no seriously. I'm going to stop.