This was a poem that I wrote a few years ago. Not really applicable right now but it was. And I need it up here so that I don't lose it and so it can sit as a reminder of what I can be and what I don't want to be again.
Words that flow can never express
The indecision and pain that ripples through my being
I see myself standing at the edge of a cliff
Overlooking stormy waters
To jump or walk?
The question has never had no clear answer
But now I fear I've died inside.
That the face I show, isn't me.
Someone I will never be is creeping up
Steadily and surely.
My half-hearted attempts to stay her
No longer are enough for the battle of me.
Yet the apathy I feel prevents me from
Winning the outright war.
I can't live this life any longer
But I can't change.
What do I do?
What once offered reassurances, now
Seems like a far off dream.
Is this what you felt, my fallen-friend,
Before you let the darkness descend?
Before you welcomed it?
I think I finally understand
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